Sure, everyone has a moment or two where they don’t feel as confident as they would like to, but what happens when this feeling becomes a regular part of your day? When you rethink every action before you make a decision, certain that you’re going to disappoint someone — let someone down — be somehow less than you should be?
While some women seem to constantly be down on themselves, others are able to turn the tables and bring innate confidence to every interaction and reap the rewards of success due to their certainty. While it may seem that men don’t have quite the same confidence challenges as women, it might surprise you to learn that even the most confident-seeming women still have to work at feeling assured in difficult situations.
Taking the First Step
Confidence in yourself is not something that happens overnight, and few people are born with an overabundance of this generous gift (although some people are lucky in that way!). In general, you have to work to overcome you insecurities and train your brain to become the confident, successful person that you have buried deep inside.
Breaking the Negativity Link
While it may seem that your internal wiring is towards negative thinking, this link was formed over a number of years — which means it can be broken! This is great news, and should give you the first hint of freedom. Something learned can be un-learned, and the worrywart part of your brain can be hushed by strict focus on the positive potentials for the future.
Stress, of course, is a factor that can seriously aggravate a negative view of self. If you are being pulled in all directions (who isn’t?!?), then focusing on the upside can seem like an insurmountable challenge. Fortunately, learning to say “no” to items that are just a distraction may help significantly cut your stress levels, offering you a moment’s peace to strategize on this new form of positive self-talk.
Talking with someone about the various stressors in your life as well as what types of things send you down into a Negative Nelly spiral can really help you identify ways that you can make a change. Simply knowing that there’s someone who can listen without judgment may be all that you need to break the cycle. Whether your challenges are around a negative perception of your physical appearance, your ability to do your job or your family, it can be difficult to pull back enough to see the “big picture”. What you may find is that in the grand scheme of things, you’re doing a fantastic job keeping it together, which in turn helps to build confidence for future endeavors.
One of the biggest personal benefits of my chosen path as a counselor is helping women find the confidence that allows them to learn to love themselves in the way that they deserve.
If you would like to learn more…
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