Being a mom comes with a whole lot of love… and a whole lot of worry. You’re constantly doing the mental gymnastics of keeping everyone fed, dressed, safe, loved, not to mention managing your own career, health, and sanity.
And if you’re someone who already tends to be a little anxious, motherhood can feel like a constant pressure cooker.
But here’s the truth a lot of moms don’t talk about: your anxiety doesn’t stay contained in your own head. Kids pick up on more than we realize. They’re little mirrors and little sponges.
This doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. It does mean you have the power to shift things, for your kids and yourself.
That’s why I want to walk you through some realistic, doable ways to manage your own anxiety so you don’t pass it down unintentionally.
1. Start With You
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but let me remind you: You can’t pour from an empty cup. And you definitely can’t teach your kids to self-regulate if your own nervous system is stuck in overdrive.
The best way to protect your kids from the effects of anxiety? Learn how to manage yours. Therapy is a great place to start. Not because you’re broken, but because you’re ready for tools that actually work.
When you feel more grounded, your kids feel it too, even if they don’t know why.
2. Narrate What’s Happening (Without Oversharing)
It’s totally okay to let your kids know you feel anxious sometimes. In fact, it can be reassuring.
Try something like:
“Mom’s feeling a little nervous right now, so I’m going to take a minute to breathe and reset.”
This teaches your kids that:
- Emotions are normal.
- They don’t need to be hidden or feared.
- There are healthy ways to cope.
And it’s way more powerful than pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly not.
3. Give Them Tools, Too
You don’t need to create a whole curriculum. Just share simple things that help you, in a kid-friendly way.
A few ideas:
- Take five deep breaths together like you’re blowing out birthday candles
- Ask them to name 3 things they see, 2 things they hear, and 1 thing they feel (grounding)
- Keep a “calm corner” or “worry box” in the house
- Celebrate small wins, yours and theirs
These tools won’t eliminate your stress (or theirs) completely. But it will help you both build resilience.
4. Watch the Pressure to Be Everything
Perfectionism is sneaky and contagious. If you’re constantly doing all the things (and then some), your kids notice. And they start to believe they have to do the same.
Say “no” when it’s not a “heck yes.” Let them see you rest. Let them hear you say, “I don’t have it all figured out either.”
You’re showing them it’s safe to be human. And that’s one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give them.
5. Worry Less About Worry
Sounds counterintuitive, right? But trying not to feel anxious often makes the anxiety worse.
The goal isn’t to never worry again. The goal is to notice it, get curious about it, and not let it run the show.
And when you model that: when you say, “Hmm, I notice I’m feeling kind of tense. I wonder what I need right now”, you’re raising emotionally intelligent kids who know how to check in with themselves.
6. Know That It’s Not Too Late
Even if your kid is already showing signs of anxiety, or even if you’ve modeled some of your own, it’s not a done deal. The brain is incredibly adaptable. And relationships can always be repaired.
Start where you are. Apologize when you need to. Try again. Show your kids what growth looks like.
They don’t need you to be anxiety-free. They need you to be self-aware, willing to learn, and open to doing it differently.
Ready to Break the Cycle?
If you’ve been carrying “mom anxiety” on your shoulders for too long, and you’re tired of letting it shape your parenting, your energy, your peace, I’d love to help.Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you show up in your life (and your motherhood) in a way that feels more like you.
In therapy, I can help you cultivate skills that help you manage anxiety and minimize the chances of you passing it on to your kids.
To learn more about anxiety counseling and how it can help you help your kids…
Sources: ChildMind, Parents.com, Psychology Today
