We’ve all done it…. You hop on Instagram for a quick scroll before bed. Ten minutes in, you’re suddenly feeling behind on your career, wondering if your relationship is missing something, and somehow convinced that you need a better wardrobe, a nicer house, and a trip to Italy.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

As a therapist, I hear it all the time: “I know I shouldn’t compare myself, but…”

The truth is, social media was designed to keep us hooked and it does a really good job of stirring up anxiety, self-doubt, and never-enoughness, especially for women.

Why does social media affect us so deeply?

For one, we’re wired for connection. We want to feel seen, valued, and like we belong. But social media often flips that desire on its head, turning connection into comparison.

Instead of feeling close to others, we feel less-than. We start measuring ourselves against carefully curated posts and highlight reels that don’t tell the full story.

Even if you’re consciously telling yourself, “This isn’t real life,” your nervous system doesn’t always get the memo. It reacts to what it feels, and what it feels is that you’re falling short.

It’s not just teens. This hits adult women hard too.

Women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond are just as susceptible. I know because I’ve worked with countless women who tell me they struggle with it. The pressure to be polished, successful, happy, healthy, and on top of everything (all while staying humble and grateful, of course) is exhausting.

Social media can amplify this pressure by putting a spotlight on everyone else’s wins, vacations, new kitchens, and seemingly perfect relationships, while you’re sitting there wondering why you can’t even decide what to make for dinner.

And because we see it constantly, it doesn’t feel like a moment, it feels like a measuring stick. That’s where the shame creeps in.

3 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health Online

You don’t have to delete every app or move to a cabin in the woods (unless you want to). But there are real ways to make social media feel less like a minefield for your self-esteem.

1. Name what’s happening.
Sometimes just recognizing the feeling: “I’m feeling insecure because I’m comparing myself to something that isn’t real”, can stop it from spiraling. Awareness takes the power out of it.

2. Check your mood, not your likes.
After you scroll, ask: Do I feel more grounded or more anxious? Inspired or insecure? If you feel worse after being online, that’s your cue to take a break.

3. Curate with intention.
Your feed should reflect your values, not just trends. Follow people who feel real, who inspire you without shaming you, and who remind you to be kind to yourself. If someone you follow is constantly making you feel bad about yourself, it’s simple really. Click that unfollow button.

Final Thought

Social media isn’t going anywhere. But how you engage with it can change. If it’s starting to feel like a daily trigger for self-criticism, stress, or anxiety, it’s okay to acknowledge that, and it’s more than okay to get support.

I work with women every day who are learning to rebuild their self-worth from the inside out, not based on likes, shares, or follower counts, but on who they are, what they value, and how they want to feel.

You’re not alone. And you’re not broken for struggling with this.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck in the comparison loop, therapy can help you step out of it—for good.

If you have trouble controlling stress or anxiety, or if you are tired of social media is Affecting your mood, an experienced therapist can help.

We can discuss specific strategies so you can manage stress with ease and start using social media in a healthy way.

Sources: Digital Trends, Pew Internet, Psych Central, DailyMail, Telegraph